Better's Blinkist

Negotiation occurs in every aspect of life – and there’s more to it than rationality and intellect.

t’s more than just mathematical logic and a keen intellect. That’s because humans aren’t always rational; they often fail to act on the basis of logic or reason. To make matters more complicated, humans aren’t always predictable either. People often act based on their animal nature, which is irrational, spontaneous and a bit wild.

13 October, 2019 08:42 Share

Successful negotiation is about building trust and getting information.

Looking back on the situation, the author realizes that the robber only spread this misinformation to confuse the author and his colleagues, buying himself time to plot his escape.

13 October, 2019 08:40 Share

Closely listening to and even repeating what your counterpart says can build trust.

The first is called mirroring, which essentially means repeating what your counterpart says but with an inquisitive tone. Just consider the Manhattan bank robbery negotiation from the previous blink. The robber in that situation, Chris Watts, made continual demands for a vehicle. He mentioned that his own car was gone as his driver had fled.

13 October, 2019 08:43 Share

Largely because it makes the other person feel that you’re similar to him. After all, your counterpart is only human and will naturally be drawn to similarities. That’s because, just like other animals, people like to be in groups with similar traits. Doing so gives us a sense of belonging and forges trust. This is powerful in a negotiation: when your counterpart starts to trust you, he will become more likely to talk and find a solution.

13 October, 2019 08:43 Share

One group of waiters was asked to use mirroring while the other was asked to utilize positive reinforcement through phrases like "no problem" and "great." In the end, the waiters who mirrored the orders made by customers received much higher tips, earning 70 per cent more than the other group.

13 October, 2019 08:44 Share

The tone of your voice can do wonders for negotiation.

For instance, if the other party is likely to become upset or nervous, you should employ a deep but soft voice, or what the author has called your Late-Night FM DJ voice. By being slow and reassuring, this tone is sure to have a profound effect on the other person.

13 October, 2019 08:44 Share

After all, it’ll comfort him, making him more likely to share the information you’re looking for. At a certain point during the bank robbery negotiation, the author had to take over communication with the robber from his colleague, Joe. To prevent Watts from growing upset or nervous due to the shift, the author told him in a deep, calm voice that Joe was out and he was in. It was put forward in such a downward-inflecting manner, radiating calmness and reason, that Watts didn’t even flinch.

13 October, 2019 08:44 Share

While on vacation in Istanbul, a colleague of the author’s was amazed by his girlfriend’s ability to cut great deals with backstreet spice merchants. He soon realized that she always pushed for better prices, but did so in a playful, positive way. While the merchants were themselves skilled bargainers, her approach drew them in, convincing them to give her a better deal. Try this yourself, when you’re at a store or market!

13 October, 2019 08:45 Share

Understand and state the emotions of your counterpart to position yourself effectively in a negotiation.

Rather than ignoring emotions, you have to combine them with empathy to your tactical advantage. However, being empathetic doesn’t necessarily mean agreeing with the other person. It just means attempting to see his perspective. This is where tactical empathy comes into play; it refers to using your understanding of your counterpart’s perspective to better position yourself in the negotiation.One technique to do so is called labeling. It simply refers to telling your counterpart that you understand and acknowledge both his position and feelings.

13 October, 2019 08:45 Share

Lieberman showed participants pictures of people expressing a strong emotion, thereby activating their amygdalas, the brain area responsible for fear. However, when the same participants were asked to state what emotions they saw, their brains experienced activity in the areas related to rational thinking.

13 October, 2019 08:46 Share

The author figured out what they were feeling and then labeled those feelings; he told them that he knew they didn’t want to leave the apartment, that they were worried that if they opened the door, they would be shot and that they must be scared of going back to prison.After six hours of dead silence, the fugitives surrendered and later told the author that he had calmed them down. In other words, his labeling had worked. He simply understood and acknowledged their emotions, reaching a favorable outcome in the process.

13 October, 2019 08:46 Share

Don’t accept the other party’s demands, don’t compromise, and don’t rush.

Have you ever been in such a hurry to settle a dispute that you ended up unhappy with the final result? Nobody wants that, and it’s crucial to remember that accepting a bad deal or even compromising is always a mistake. This is called splitting the difference, and you’ve got to avoid it at all costs.

13 October, 2019 08:47 Share

For the same reason, it’s essential to take your time, even when your counterpart sets deadlines. Remember, your job is to learn about the other party and, if you’re pressed for time, chances are your judgment will be clouded. It’s important that you avoid this. It can help to remember that most deadlines are flexible and relatively random.

13 October, 2019 08:47 Share

Final summary

In one respect, negotiation is just like war: it’s crucial to know your enemy. That’s why you should always let your counterpart make the first offer. That being said, you should also be prepared for this initial offer to be extreme. In fact, it’s entirely normal for first offers to be far afield of your expectations. Just keep in mind that this only represents the limit for your counterpart and you can almost certainly get a much better deal.

13 October, 2019 08:48 Share